If You Have At Least One Close Friend Who Is Willing Listen To You, Then That’s The Only Psychiatrist You’ll Ever Need
Another way to take care of your mental health.
Note: Everyone’s mental health is different, so if you do really need a psychiatrist because your mental health is really taking a toll to the point you are drawn to suicide or in need of medication, by all means, please contact a psychiatrist.
For the past few months, I have been speaking to my best friends in Canada nearly every Sunday. These sessions were to indirectly help my mind stay sane in this pandemic.
Before I had these sessions, I was in my worst state.
On the weekdays, sometimes I’d get anxious or worried about the work I did and the side hustles I’m trying to grow. The stress of work just keeps growing. Sometimes it gets overwhelming that I ended up feeling down a lot or just softly cry as I kept remembering the bad stuff going on and how am I going to manage it all.
The worst part is that I’d let that gnawing feeling bubble in me, eating me day by day. Never did I let it out or talk about it to anyone, which is pretty much a terrible idea because I got more sensitive and angry all the time.
There were times where I wanted to find a psychiatrist to tell the problems I was facing. But I was fearful of what my family would think of me calling for a mental health problem.
Growing up in an Asian family, usually, these kinds of things are not often preached because our parents want us to be tough, and I understand why they did this because they grew up in times of hardships.
I tried to be strong, but there were many times that I’m just not strong enough. So all I did was just keeping it all in and that just adds the fuel to the fire. Not even the daily dose of memes helped douse the flame.
That habit has been like that for nearly six months since the beginning of the pandemic until the game Among Us brought me and my friends together again.
This was how we made it happened by accident:
1) A Simple Hello To Break The Tension
We used to have a video game chat back in college, where we’d ask each other whether we’d like to play the online game we used to play back in middle school.
But we lost contact after college as we all got jobs and work to do.
And then, Among Us happened.
When the game became a huge trend back in 2020, I picked up the courage to say a simple ‘hello’ and a request to play Among Us.
And just like that, we were able to speak again after we lost touch for over two years. We set a date on when we were going to play this imposter game and met up.
While we were waiting for everyone else to gather when the day arrived, we’d ask each other how we are all doing, the usual openings.
From then on, the conversation opened to something else. And there was an opening.
We spoke a lot about many things, the pandemic in each other’s areas, our works, what’s going on lately, and many things.
At this point, I felt like there is a barrier between us that we were able to penetrate (An exception of two because over the years, we weren’t too close anymore). And that's where we were willing to share our stories a little further.
2) Opening Up To Our Struggles
This is the best thing about close friends because you can share with them about anything.
At some point, we were bolder to explain what we have been struggling with, mostly from loneliness and workloads. These things are really driving us insane. Most of us were burnt out, spent, and lack social interaction thanks to the pandemic. We didn’t know who to turn to and what we could do to solve it.
We just shared this like we would tell a psychiatrist. Just letting it all out.
When I shared this with my friends, my mouth just kept running. I was telling nearly in great detail about what I’ve been facing and what I’ve been feeling. I told them my problems and how I felt and the workloads, I was just telling it all like I had no shame.
And for some reason, after I was done sharing, I felt like there was a drain that took these toxic feelings away. Like the burden is slowly lifting away.
After my time, the others shared the same thing. Their problems, what they are facing, and what made them feel bad as of late. It’s like we were all in the same boat.
After that talk, somehow, we made an agreement to meet again to play Among Us, at least for the ones who are willing to want to catch up again.
3) From A Gaming Chat To Therapy Session
Somehow, when we meet up again, we got bored of playing and just talked. Like, just talking.
This was pivotal because somehow, the one that brought us together after we left for our separate ways, gaming, was only a key.
But when we spoke about our struggles, that is the rewards that lie ahead once we opened the door.
We were more willing to meet up, and just be more open to our struggles. The great thing about my circle is that we were content to listen to each and every of what we were facing. The anxiety and stresses we all faced differently, it was all relatable to all of us.
In the end, sharing our vulnerability was the one that truly kept us in touch. I felt like the burden I’ve been carrying on my shoulders is lifted slowly, and the anxiety is no longer piling up. The rational side of me began to kick in on what problem can I solve to reduce the task.
Overall, I felt so much better after talking to my friends. Just letting all my frustrations pour out is the best thing I’ve ever done, and knowing that someone is listening was even better.
And now, I felt like I don’t have to call a psychiatrist.
The Power of Listening
What I learned from this interaction is that listening is a superpower. Oftentimes, we find ourselves not listening to the other person at all, and that’s when things just fall apart.
Imagine creating a song and knowing that no one wants to listen to it. Are you still willing to play that song?
Just like them, we must develop this power of listening, especially when you are around your circle of friends. Because they trust you when they tell you their struggle and that you care about their wellbeing.
By being an active listener, Forbes finds that you are:
- Compassionate to others
- Understanding the individual’s situation and information given
- Building a stronger relationship
- Increase in collaboration (As seen in many podcasts)
- Increase in productivity
And this is what many businesses need in their team if ever they want to feel like they belong. If you want to see a great leader, all you have to do is ask the people who work under them. And I guarantee that one of the best behavior of a leader is that they are always willing to listen.
A great example is Conan O’Brien’s show, where he always featured his staff members. Sometimes, when he showed these remotes, you can see the same staff often in many of these videos. This means that they are still willing to work under Conan O’Brien.
But overall, leaders who are willing to listen are making them feel safe.
Conclusion
I try to be an active listener more often. I didn’t know this simple thing could cause such a big impact on anyone. How it impacted me and my friends, where we are now more willing to listen to each other.
To this day, I still kept in contact with my friends in Canada on the weekends. We’d schedule meetings more often and just talk about our days. It really helped my mind in check and sane.
And best of all, the thought of calling a psychiatrist hasn’t been in my mind ever since (and I hope to keep it that way until the future).
I am really grateful to my friends, in a way, they helped me from going psycho and angry all the time. I do my best to listen to them as they did to me.
So to everyone reading this, it doesn’t matter how many friends you have. So long as one person is willing to listen and understand you….then that’s all you need to keep your mental health in check.
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